Being Alone Doesn't Mean Lonely

Sekedar kepengen sharing mengenai perubahan status gue saat ini. Problem dari status single tuh adalah banyaknya orang yang berpikir bahwa gue kesepian, or butuh kasih sayang. And so they try to playing around with me, asking some impolite questions just to see how I react. Mungkin kalo ditanggapi, ya berarti umpan kena, dan berlanjut dengan keisengan lainnya?

Basically sih, gue ngerasa those people really don’t understand that I choose this decision because I knew I won’t be happy If I stay. Jadi semua resiko yang ada, ya gue terima. Bukan berarti gue akan down dan harus mencari pengganti supaya bisa having fun. Salah besar!

There’s a good advice from a community for people with experience same as I do, “Cutting contact with toxic people will transform your life. At first, it feels miserable. Like you’re going cold turkey, from an addiction. But as time goes on, you come to discover that each passing day brings unexpected new blessings. You begin to develop self-respect, boundaries, and true friendships.”

When people make you feel unwanted, don’t leave to make them feel sad or guilty, they won’t. Leave because you no longer have a reason to stay. What is meant to be will end up good and what is not, it won’t. Love is worth fighting for, but sometimes you can’t be the only one fighting.  

Gue sudah memilih ini bukan karena ego gue. Jangan pernah bilang kalau seharusnya gue lebih sabar dan mengalah. Relationship was never about one side, it’s always both sides. Gue sih yakin banget, kalaupun gue mengalah, pasti ujung-ujungnya juga terjadi lagi. Wasting time and energy. Gue sadar, setelah gue mengajukan hal ini, pasti yang terjadi adalah pressure yang terus-terusan dari orang yang sakit jiwa macam dia. Tapi kan ga mungkin juga gue harus bertahan dalam suatu hubungan yang membuat gue terpuruk bukannya makin maju. Ga ada tempat untuk mengembangkan diri karena tidak pernah ada dukungan buat gue. Should I live that way? Relationship should enrich people, not make others feels smaller.    

But I must admit, that I also feel some sort of broken heart feeling lately, to the person that once  filled my emptiness. I MISS THE MOMENT WHEN I CAN SHARE ALL MY FEELING, BUT I KNOW IT'S NOT A GOOD THING TO CHASE SOMEONE THAT WASN'T NEVER MEANT TO BE WITH YOU. Sad but true. I better leave the memories behind and starts the new one.
Wise man said: "To feel complete, you don't need some one else. You just need to love yourself and listen to what your heart says." 
  

Late Post : Salted Egg Pork Ribs and Salted Egg Fish Skin

Actually, this is my late post from my visit in Singapore last month (on April). I went there only for 3 days, for business purpose. Since I’m not often visit Singapore (not really sure why I’m not so interest going around in there), I also arrange to meet my friends there in the evening.

We planned to have dinner in Kushikatsu Tanaka, Clarke Quay, around 7pm, but the funny thing, I lost when heading there. My boss gave me the wrong direction, instead of take the MRT, he said that by Bus is faster. But apparently, he forgot the Bus number, and so finally after going around from 1 Bus stop to another stop, we decided to take MRT. The things that I don’t know at that time, that I should take the Blue Line and get off in Fort Canning instead of take the Purple Line, and stop in Clarke Quay. The station and the restaurant quite far, and since I’m very tired because just get back from Expo, I take the taxi. The cost around SGD11, 5 minutes from Clarke Quay MRT Station. J  

This time, I also asked a favor from one of my friends to buy an armband-waistband in Decathlon Bedok (the price SGD 26.9) for my daughter. Since in Decathlon Alam Sutra this product never available and the shopkeeper said that in Decathlon Bedok, this stuff still has some stocks. Luckily, she’s very nice person, she bought it first for me, and I only have to repay her when we met. She even gave me discount, it should be SGD 26.9, but I only pay SGD 26. Awesome!  

The next day, I’m following the recommendation from one of my friends yesterday. She told me that the new menu in Far East Plaza (near Orchard MRT) is very famous for its Salted Egg Pork Ribs. This food stall named: New Station Snack Bar. And she said that this is must try dish. So, I search in goggle map for the location, and around 5.45 pm, I going there alone. 

Far East Plaza not far from Orchard MRT station, only walks around 10 minutes. This Plaza is not crowded; moreover, I don’t think it can be name as a Plaza. Its looks like ITC for me. J  

The restaurant located in 5^th floor, and I could say this place have complete Chinese food menu, despite of the location seems like food stall in ITC Mangga Dua. The price is also affordable, mostly under SGD10. I only ordered Salted Egg Pork Ribs with Rice, and Tea. Total cost SGD 8. Crispy and well-done pork ribs, drenched in tasty salted egg yolk sauce, a very yummy dish. I love that the sauce is rich and extremely savory with a hint of curry from the curry leaves.

And still about salted egg, I also decided to buy salted egg fish skin. This snacks nowadays become very popular in Singapore because of the savory taste. Since I want to try various kind of fish skin, I bought 3 brands that well known in there, The Golden Duck, Fragrance and Oyu. I didn’t get small size of Irvins, so I cancel the order.

Overall, the taste was good. I actually love every dish or snacks with salted eggs topping. So For me, every brand were yummy J The Golden Ducks itself has spicy taste (and now Irvins also launching the new product, spicy fish skin). My Japanese friend doesn’t like it, but somehow I love it. This is the snacks that maybe I’ll looking for when I visit Singapore once again. I think I must spare larger space in my luggage for this. Haha…  

Finally, that’s my experiences for only 3 days in Singapore during my business trip. Very short time, but it’s enough for me. Since I went there only with my boss, sneaking time after working hour for a little bit happiness vacation is a precious moment. I’m glad my boss not the kind of killer type. Haha…

Been So Long....

Hai hai again!

Lama banget nih aku ngga update di blog. It's been many years I think. Bukannya ga mau nulis yah, tapi rasanya ga sempat aja. Padahal banyak banget hal yang terjadi in a past few years. Lots of up and down that I've been through. Pengen banget punya tempat cerita, tapi kalau urusan belum kelar, pantang deh di ceritain kemana-mana. 

In a glance aja deh... (dih kek bikin resume aja), many things happens that change my whole life. From bored life, colorful, desperate, broken heart, and finally move on. 

First. 

I've been completely free from my toxic relationship. Well, in my deepest heart, I knew it would happen someday, sooner or later. Though I tried so hard to hold that feeling, but in the end, something happened and makes me have to make my own decision. So here I am, free and happy mommy as should be.

Second.

Since my daughter on me now, I need to started thinking about her future. It seems like in the next year I have to put her on kindergarten. And as always, mommy always confuse where is the good and affordable school near office. 

At this moment, she still in the daycare weekly because someone disagree to put her monthly, though he didn't pay at all. Anyway, she's very good this few days, I can leave her in the morning without any additional drama (or fake cry). That's my girl! Love you my daughter!! 

Third.

I'm moving out to apartment. Still, I must saving a lot for my future. But at least I feel relieved. I can arrange my stuff as much as I like, can go anywhere I want. Yeah, my soul is single forever. 

Fourth.

I also moving to another company, with better salary off course (*wink). However, needs more efforts in this new company. At least I can make a decision better than in my previous company. And free internet also, for sure.

Five. 

Finally my weight stable on 50-51 kgs. Something to celebrate, right? Yeah... no...

Six.

Now I learned how is Narc's people actually exist on earth. Thanks to so many great quotes in IG to make me strong and understand, that basically the best way to heal my soul is only one, go NO CONTACT with those screw people. The best taker ever. They don't mind to take anything for me without give anything back in return. That's hurt, so much, until I realize, it's their habit. Their ego. So if I feel miserable because of them, I lost.   

Seven.

I'm in progress to move on. No more contact for unnecessary things. I don't need someone that only wants to be heard, wants me to help them, while when I'm in trouble, they're gone. Disappear in a second. What was that? Relationship non-sense. Wants me to be like what they want, but if I apply the same standard for them, they angry, blame-shifting. 

Beugh... wth, no more!  

Hmm... what else... nothing more... bottom line, I try to rearrange my life. To upgrade my self-confidence that ruined many years ago.

Hopefully everything could running smoothly...  *pray