Been So Long....

Hai hai again!

Lama banget nih aku ngga update di blog. It's been many years I think. Bukannya ga mau nulis yah, tapi rasanya ga sempat aja. Padahal banyak banget hal yang terjadi in a past few years. Lots of up and down that I've been through. Pengen banget punya tempat cerita, tapi kalau urusan belum kelar, pantang deh di ceritain kemana-mana. 

In a glance aja deh... (dih kek bikin resume aja), many things happens that change my whole life. From bored life, colorful, desperate, broken heart, and finally move on. 

First. 

I've been completely free from my toxic relationship. Well, in my deepest heart, I knew it would happen someday, sooner or later. Though I tried so hard to hold that feeling, but in the end, something happened and makes me have to make my own decision. So here I am, free and happy mommy as should be.

Second.

Since my daughter on me now, I need to started thinking about her future. It seems like in the next year I have to put her on kindergarten. And as always, mommy always confuse where is the good and affordable school near office. 

At this moment, she still in the daycare weekly because someone disagree to put her monthly, though he didn't pay at all. Anyway, she's very good this few days, I can leave her in the morning without any additional drama (or fake cry). That's my girl! Love you my daughter!! 

Third.

I'm moving out to apartment. Still, I must saving a lot for my future. But at least I feel relieved. I can arrange my stuff as much as I like, can go anywhere I want. Yeah, my soul is single forever. 

Fourth.

I also moving to another company, with better salary off course (*wink). However, needs more efforts in this new company. At least I can make a decision better than in my previous company. And free internet also, for sure.

Five. 

Finally my weight stable on 50-51 kgs. Something to celebrate, right? Yeah... no...

Six.

Now I learned how is Narc's people actually exist on earth. Thanks to so many great quotes in IG to make me strong and understand, that basically the best way to heal my soul is only one, go NO CONTACT with those screw people. The best taker ever. They don't mind to take anything for me without give anything back in return. That's hurt, so much, until I realize, it's their habit. Their ego. So if I feel miserable because of them, I lost.   

Seven.

I'm in progress to move on. No more contact for unnecessary things. I don't need someone that only wants to be heard, wants me to help them, while when I'm in trouble, they're gone. Disappear in a second. What was that? Relationship non-sense. Wants me to be like what they want, but if I apply the same standard for them, they angry, blame-shifting. 

Beugh... wth, no more!  

Hmm... what else... nothing more... bottom line, I try to rearrange my life. To upgrade my self-confidence that ruined many years ago.

Hopefully everything could running smoothly...  *pray